Main reason for the blog
Main reason for the blog
Working as a personal development coach one fundamental issue that keeps coming up with people is how vulnerable they make themselves. How they give their power away to someone else so they can freely make up their minds on how to play the game that is unfolding before them. I am going to try and unpick the behaviours of giving your power away that makes a person so vulnerable.
I straight away refer to the old saying,
knowledge is power.
We all have knowledge and we all use it to better situations either better them for ourselves, others or both but you must have knowledge to do this. That then creates a question;
If knowledge is power and people seem to be able to take my power away from me then how to they get that knowledge?
This is such a simple answer; they get it from you. You might now be saying to yourself;
But how do I give it away?
An that is also a simple answer; you give to much.
Our life is our story it holds all we are, our triumphs our mistakes the roads and lives we have lived. It even holds our traumas and the reason why they happened. We all have an amazing story one worthy of people’s time and our power is locked in our story. And it is the chapters of our story that gives our power away.
As I am writing this, I am reminded of what my dad told me and my brothers when we were growing up;
Never pay no mind to the loud ones as you know what they are going to do because they have just told you, keep an eye on the quiet ones because they are the ones that surprise you ever single day.
For someone to take your power and take advantage of you three things must happen;
- Present yourself physically as vulnerable.
- Tell people the vulnerable parts of your story.
- When they show you they are taking advantage, do nothing to stop it.
Let us have a little bit more of a look at these three.
- Present yourself physically as vulnerable. This is where you look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. In a sense you project fear and the worries that are on your mind and people see this in your physical presence.
- Tell people the vulnerable parts of your story. You let people know to much of your life to soon, you tell them your traumas and why they happened. This has basically given them a road map that is all plotted out on how they can harm you.
- When they show you they are taking advantage, do nothing to stop it. This is when you do not interject when this person or people are taking advantage, you do not stop it if or when you have the chance.
There are so many tools in personal development that allow you to address these issues one by one. The outcome of these techniques is to do the following;
- Become a version of yourself that does not subconsciously show these vulnerable characteristics. This doesn’t mean you wont still have issues, but this allows you to know how to physically present yourself whilst having these issues internally. Only because you are dealing with your issues doesn’t mean you have to present them to the world.
- Do not be so ready to tell people your story. Allow them to prove that they are trust worth to hear your story.
- Get comfortable with your communication skills of listening and responding with facts to shut people down and be assertive and strong to protect yourself. By doing this in this situation you are saying to these people enough is enough, this will not continue and this is stopping now.
All these are achievable and all you have to do is want to achieve them no matter what.
In conclusion do not give your power away too freely and by that, I mean your story. Your story becomes other people’s knowledge and your story is your power. Keep your story for your internal development and for those who have earned your trust to hear your story.
Remember there are people in this world that will take advantage and take your power. Just also always remember there are people in this world that will not. So, develop yourself so you know who is who.