Love is not enough
Love isn’t enough
Main reason and concept
Why Love is not enough and how LOVE can help
There is a common saying when it comes to Love “Love is blind”. Although there is a saying and that it is a true one it doesn’t have to always be. What I mean by that if you commit yourself to always accepting the saying and just live with it then love isn’t just blind, but love is also a gamble. In this blog I am going to look at a different way of looking at love and how you can nurture it, so it has the best chance of success.
Why love is not enough and how LOVE can help
Love is a massive umbrella term for so many relationships but no matter the depth of the love or type you can always nurture it in the same way to potentially get the best out of that love. We all want to best out of love, we do not want it to be a waste of time. Love as a feeling spans many types of relationship;
These are to only name a few that could have a feeling of Love connected to them. But this feeling of love is just a core ingredient and it simply isn’t enough. In fact, it is quite fragile on its own, and if miss treated or not developed and shared in the best way it can break and feel like it has disappeared.
Let’s look at it in a different way. So, there is an untrained runner who is naturally fast and can beat about 70% of trained people. This runner obviously has raw talent for being a fast runner. If this runner stayed untrained then over time, they wouldn’t be able to beat 70% of people they will be only about to beat 60%, 50%, 40% and this number will keep becoming smaller and smaller. The reason for this is because the other runners are in training so their talents get nurtured and their skills re-find. So, a raw talent still needs coaching to become the greatest and that is the same for Love. Love is the raw talent and nurturing Love is the coaching aspect to make it great.
I hear what you are saying “So how do I nurture Love?” and that is a simple answer use LOVE. Yes, that is correct the way you can nurture Love to give it the best chance of being great is by putting a meaning to every letter of the word LOVE. Each letter stands for;
L – Learning or learned
O – Observe
V – Voice and Value
E – Effort and evaluative action
So, what does each stage mean;
L – Learning or Learned – what are you learning from your relationships? Are they the same as past relationship? If they are do you want to repeat the same situations again? If they are different are you going to allow yourself to accept it as different and lean through the development or allow older learned experiences infiltrate your new relationship and have its effect? So, what are you learning?
O – Observation – what are you seeing from your relationship? Are you only allowing yourself to see the relationship from one way or multiple ways? Are you going to observe the impact of the relationship to only yourself or are you going to see how others are affected by what the relationship is? And are you going to accept or be willing to talk about other people’s observations?
V – Voice and Value – How are you going to speak in the relationship, are you not going to say anything or be confrontational and aggressive or are you going to empathise but still be assertive? Are you going to look at your own position in the relationship as low or high value or ore you going to allow someone to place your value you as low or high in the relationship?
E – Effort and evaluative action – What kind of effort are you going to put into the relationship? Are you going to put in effort that only tends to your own needs and values or are you going to fight for the other people as well or are you going to fight them? Based on everything that you have are you going to evaluate what you have and take appropriate action to improve the love in the relationship or create a situation that stops anyone from getting hurt?
If you apply the four principles above to the raw talent of Love, then you are going to be nurturing that love and coaching it to be the best love you can experience for that relationship. The above four principles open a door to a huge toolbox that can be applied from learning styles, observation techniques, communication techniques, boosting confidence and how to evaluate information for an outcome and these are only a few of the tools it will open.
The coaching world is fall of powerful buzz words and these words help, for example “nurture” but then that should open up the next question “How do you nurture?”
A buzz word in coaching is a door you open to then to start to find the tools that create an answer. Another example “Communicate” this should then be followed by “How do it communicate, what types of communication? Etc”.
Love as a feeling is a raw fragile emotion that needs help for it to become a root emotion, one that is hard to break. If you put in the right nurture to the right love then you should have loving bonds that are not easily broken or if they do break or fall apart you will be able to recover faster as you will know you gave it your best shot. No matter what the outcome you always learn and that will help you for the future.
So, love is not enough. You need to nurture that love with LOVE.