How to Communicate

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main reason and concept for this

Listen, Summarise, Feedback, Assertive.

Conclusion to the blog


Communication is vital in life. Unless you live 100% on your own you really cannot go a whole day without haveing a chat with someone. Well saying that we all kind of sit down and contemplate to ourselves to find answers, so even if you do live on your own you will still have conversations.

In every conversation we have we run the risk of making a wrong turn and in a heartbeat it will go from a conversation to an argument. There are three ways a conversation could go, first a strong mutual agreement, second an amicable outcome (agree to disagree), Third an argument that doesn’t really go anywhere.

We are going to look at the tools that if used correctly you will keep the outcome of a conversation to either a strong mutual agreement or an amicable outcome. Let’s have a look at these tools individually.


In my opinion this is the most important of the conversation tools. It’s like my dad use to tell me, I was given two ears and one month so listen twice as much than you speak.

You should try and listen as much as possible to try and digest all that is being said. It can be very hard to do this especially when you think of something that could be very impactful. There are some good tricks you could employ to keep you focused on listening. One of the best ones is a listening stick.

This is a simple psychological trick really. All you have to do is hold something in your hand like a pen and say in your mind whilst this pen in in my left hand I will not talk I will just listen. Keep reminding yourself throughout of this and it should keep you on track with just listening.

Also, make sure you are paying attention to what is being said and not just sitting there in silence because it will be your turn to talk at some point and you want to be able to respond properly and not with just a vague confused look on your face.


So, you have done all the listening but wait it isn’t time to say your piece yet. Just before you talk it would be a good idea that you make sure you have understood what has been said.

All you have to do is summarise what the person has said and ask them to clarify if your understanding is incorrect. This would give your response more validity to yourself and then to the person you are talking too.

If your understanding was a bit off it will allow the other person to re-explain their points so you will have a stronger response.


Feedback is a vital part of your response and there are loads of different types of feedback. Ultimately the feedback in your response should highlight what has been said by the person accompanied with your opinion and the reason for your opinion.

Doing this will show your understanding which will allow the person you are talking too to respect what you are saying and if they respect what you are saying they will listen and take it on board more readily.


There is a clear difference between being assertive and being aggressive. To sum up the differences are as follows;

Aggressive – to forcefully assert your opinion as the correct one without showing understanding or respect to other persons.

Assertive – to truly believe in your advice and opinion but to understand, respect and make known that you acknowledge the other persons point of view but still have the ability to strongly present your opinion in the conversation.

If you are aggressive with someone you destroy respect and rapport that lives between you and the other person. Being assertive creates an environment that is positive and builds on respect and rapport.


These are some of the strong tools that should be adopted when communicating with other people and they also try to keep the outcome of the conversation to mutual agreement or an amicable one. It also preserves relationship by continuously building on respect and rapport between the individuals who are involved in the conversation.

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